do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
