It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
