The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
They have beer where we have blood.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
