my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
