I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
