i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I need moral support for this bender
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
