epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
