so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
