one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize