We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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