evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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