Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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