it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I understand Curling. That high.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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