hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize