we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
