Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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