Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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