I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Verdict: uncircumcised.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
