Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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