He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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