So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
