I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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