I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
