This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
