Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize