.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
