last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
