I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
