I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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