I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize