They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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