Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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