Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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