i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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