I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
