adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
