You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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