do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
