but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
