Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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