Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
