You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
