I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
