he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
