i jhust puked up my retainher.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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