seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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