dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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