My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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