Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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