So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
