Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
