Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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