would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
