is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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