OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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