there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
