i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
