She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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