last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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