Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
