Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I party with great urgency now.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
