Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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