I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
