and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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