so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
