he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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