why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
