Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
