A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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