Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
